When you are in love the whole world spins in unison with your soul. Life is great and so exciting! Future is bright and sun is always shining (bla-bla-bla:)
But one day you wake up and everything has changed. He/she is not in your life anymore. There are millions reasons "why" it happend but for you - non of it makes sense. You simply refuse to accept the fact that this special person is not part of your life any more. In order to cope with this enormous pain inside you - you can choose one of the following options (of couse there are a lot of other options you can go for, but i have chosen the most common ones or the ones i feel close to):
1. Let yourself be incredibly upset - full stop, lock yourself at home, switch off your mobile, cry your eyes out, think over and over again "why did that happend","whose fault is it", and "what are you going to do NOW"?
or
2. Shut your emotions up, pull yourself together and pretend that nothing happend and tell yourself that you are strong and can go through it without "being too sensitive about the whole thing"
What can follow from the 1st option:
You either can stay miserable for a LONG time, putting your life on hold, or you can DO something about it!
With the great ideas and passionate approach - you can win him back! Oh, yes! the thought of being together again or simply to prove him wrong and how wonderful you are and what he has lost - drives you forward and gives you so much energy!
Mind you, no one said it is going to be easy. No one said that you won't feel sad or cry at friend's shoulder when you had to much to drink and seeing him with someone else:)
But what is wonderful about this approach is that you are getting better and improving your life simply by trying to prove him wrong. Broken heart is a great power which can transform your life dramatically in a very short period of time. I am not a stranger to this matter because this is the road I had chosen when my dreams were shattered by the man I loved. I took me 6 years, dozens of love letters and anonymous phone calls in the middle of the night, few articles in a local newspaper (pouring out my tragic love poems from it's pages), hundreds of phone calls to a radio station (telling the whole world how much I was in love with this person and that I never (sounds so naive now:)) never! would stop loving him no matter what!), several makeovers, moving to another country! Of couse I had my moments of self pity and desperation, but when I saw the results and we were getting back together for the 10th time - I could see it work, so I woud try harder.
And every time I succeed I wanted him to know about it. I wanted him to know, how unbelievably stupid of him was to loose me and not want me! And you know what, I was so involved in my self improvement that when the day came and he told me with tears in his eyes , that he was in love with me, and how proud he was of me, and how he wanted us to be together - I felt nothing! or may be a little bit (well, to be honest - a lot of) satisfaction!!!! That is all. No love, no second thoughts and ideas of bright future and having kids together - just pure satisfaction! and in a way, now I miss that great force that was driving me till that day.
As for the 2d option:
If you are a strong woman (or at least trying to be one) - most likely you will choose to behave as nothing happend and you will just carry on with your life, secretly crying yourself to sleep every night.
What is good about it - that you are not letting yourself go and sulk into your misery. But the downside is that it will take so much longer for you to heal your heart. Days, weeks, months and may be years will pass, and may be you will think that you are finally over him and you are ready to move on with your life, but somewhere deep inside - your heart still will be in pain, memories will come rushing on you when your guard is down. If you think by pretending that you are OK with it you will feel better and the whole "break up thing" will be easier - you are wrong. By denying it - you denying your heart the right to be healed, you are not allowing yourself to let go, you just lock your emotions up in a box and hide it deep inside your memories. But the pain will always be there, it will be part of you.
I think we missinterpret meaning of the word "strong" in a context of "woman and relationship". To be strong - is to let yourself to be weak and live through your pain and loss, not to hide it. Only by "living it through" you will be able to move on with your life.
Truth is - you will never be the same person again and you most definitely will not love another person the same way you did before. But you WILL love again, it will not be the same but it will be the love but it will be different, and different it is not a bad thing. Its exciting!
So no matter what option will you go for, I think it is worth remembering, that the power of the broken heart is as great and inspiring as the feeling of being in love. So many amazing poems were written by broken hearted men, so many stories were told, so many lives changed. And the good news is - that it is all in your hands and it all depends what will YOU do with it in order to change YOUR life.
just me
But one day you wake up and everything has changed. He/she is not in your life anymore. There are millions reasons "why" it happend but for you - non of it makes sense. You simply refuse to accept the fact that this special person is not part of your life any more. In order to cope with this enormous pain inside you - you can choose one of the following options (of couse there are a lot of other options you can go for, but i have chosen the most common ones or the ones i feel close to):
1. Let yourself be incredibly upset - full stop, lock yourself at home, switch off your mobile, cry your eyes out, think over and over again "why did that happend","whose fault is it", and "what are you going to do NOW"?
or
2. Shut your emotions up, pull yourself together and pretend that nothing happend and tell yourself that you are strong and can go through it without "being too sensitive about the whole thing"
What can follow from the 1st option:
You either can stay miserable for a LONG time, putting your life on hold, or you can DO something about it!
With the great ideas and passionate approach - you can win him back! Oh, yes! the thought of being together again or simply to prove him wrong and how wonderful you are and what he has lost - drives you forward and gives you so much energy!
Mind you, no one said it is going to be easy. No one said that you won't feel sad or cry at friend's shoulder when you had to much to drink and seeing him with someone else:)
But what is wonderful about this approach is that you are getting better and improving your life simply by trying to prove him wrong. Broken heart is a great power which can transform your life dramatically in a very short period of time. I am not a stranger to this matter because this is the road I had chosen when my dreams were shattered by the man I loved. I took me 6 years, dozens of love letters and anonymous phone calls in the middle of the night, few articles in a local newspaper (pouring out my tragic love poems from it's pages), hundreds of phone calls to a radio station (telling the whole world how much I was in love with this person and that I never (sounds so naive now:)) never! would stop loving him no matter what!), several makeovers, moving to another country! Of couse I had my moments of self pity and desperation, but when I saw the results and we were getting back together for the 10th time - I could see it work, so I woud try harder.
And every time I succeed I wanted him to know about it. I wanted him to know, how unbelievably stupid of him was to loose me and not want me! And you know what, I was so involved in my self improvement that when the day came and he told me with tears in his eyes , that he was in love with me, and how proud he was of me, and how he wanted us to be together - I felt nothing! or may be a little bit (well, to be honest - a lot of) satisfaction!!!! That is all. No love, no second thoughts and ideas of bright future and having kids together - just pure satisfaction! and in a way, now I miss that great force that was driving me till that day.
As for the 2d option:
If you are a strong woman (or at least trying to be one) - most likely you will choose to behave as nothing happend and you will just carry on with your life, secretly crying yourself to sleep every night.
What is good about it - that you are not letting yourself go and sulk into your misery. But the downside is that it will take so much longer for you to heal your heart. Days, weeks, months and may be years will pass, and may be you will think that you are finally over him and you are ready to move on with your life, but somewhere deep inside - your heart still will be in pain, memories will come rushing on you when your guard is down. If you think by pretending that you are OK with it you will feel better and the whole "break up thing" will be easier - you are wrong. By denying it - you denying your heart the right to be healed, you are not allowing yourself to let go, you just lock your emotions up in a box and hide it deep inside your memories. But the pain will always be there, it will be part of you.
I think we missinterpret meaning of the word "strong" in a context of "woman and relationship". To be strong - is to let yourself to be weak and live through your pain and loss, not to hide it. Only by "living it through" you will be able to move on with your life.
Truth is - you will never be the same person again and you most definitely will not love another person the same way you did before. But you WILL love again, it will not be the same but it will be the love but it will be different, and different it is not a bad thing. Its exciting!
So no matter what option will you go for, I think it is worth remembering, that the power of the broken heart is as great and inspiring as the feeling of being in love. So many amazing poems were written by broken hearted men, so many stories were told, so many lives changed. And the good news is - that it is all in your hands and it all depends what will YOU do with it in order to change YOUR life.
just me
